you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
