I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
