he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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