You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
