I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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