will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
