Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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