I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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