my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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