Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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