ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
