Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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