remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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