Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
