I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
