Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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