Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
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5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
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How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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