Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
