Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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