It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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