Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
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He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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