How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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