we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
