it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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