That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
