I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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