yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
