so explain again why im purple
no
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
