If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
