Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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