Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
