did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
