I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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