i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
