you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
