Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
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I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize