One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
