I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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