Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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