We got so high we made milksteak
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
