I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
