sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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