i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
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on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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