i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Princesses don't give blow jobs
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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