I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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