OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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