his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
