So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
