Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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