I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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