Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
