my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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