Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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