how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
