so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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