No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
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My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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