I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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