Can Purell be used as lube?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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