Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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