I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
