I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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