I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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