Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize