How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
