dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
